Almost every Saturday, many are taking the nuptial vows and being united in holy matrimony but when you look beyond the euphoria that comes with the wedding and investigate properly you will see that it's only a little percentage of these many that are actually prepared for marriage, the rest just prepared for wedding.
Many of us want our wedding to be the latest in town, internet sensation and talk of the town that we end up preparing for wedding only neglecting the real thing; marriage.
Marriage is not wedding and wedding is not marriage. Wedding is just an initiation into marriage. Wedding lasts but for a short period while marriage is for a lifetime. So, which will you rather prepare for more?
I'm not saying you shouldn't prepare for your wedding. It is something that happens once in a lifetime for at least some people and as such it's good, recommended and encouraged to make it remarkable and memorable but in the course of doing that you shouldn't be lost in the euphoria nor forget that marriage is the main thing not wedding.
You have heard, you have been told times without number that, you should prepare for marriage, that you don't prepare in marriage but for marriage, that the quality of your preparedness will determine the quality of your marriage. You have been familiarized with the importance and benefits of preparing for marriage but you have heard little or nothing, you have not been told, you have not been familiarized with how to actually prepare for that marriage, that is why this article was written.
I'm not saying that those statements are wrong, there are right but incomplete. Of course, you should prepare for marriage, the quality of your preparedness will determine the quality of your marriage etc., but how do you prepare for that? Telling me to do something without telling me how to do that is causing more confusion. Don't only tell me to prepare also tell me how to prepare! That's what I mean.
However, the importance of preparation for anything can never be over emphasized. Preparation precedes any success. Failure to prepare, you have prepared to fail.
Poor or no preparation at all will engender poor performance but proper and adequate preparation engenders good and effective performance. Preparation is critical, crucial and a necessity for anything at all, be it academic success, business success, marital success or ministerial success etc.
To prepare means to get set or ready for something beforehand or upfront, to be in a proper state and condition for something.
There is nothing like your lucky that your marriage is successful, fulfilling and enjoyable. There is no accidental fulfillment in marriage. So, if you want to have an enviable, successful, satisfactory and enjoyable marriage, you have got to prepare for it my brother and sister. Your marriage is what you make of it. It is up to to you.
The failures of many marriages today, more often than not can be attributed to lack of proper preparation. Globally, many marriages are crashing, divorce everywhere. Many problems we are facing in our word( prostitution, armed robbery, corruption, immoralities, etc.,) today can be attributed to marriage failures.
How then do one prepare for marriage?
You prepare for marriage in this five ways; physically, spiritually, intellectually, emotionally and financially.
1. Physically
I was listening to a pastor sometime ago and he told a story.
A man came to him complaining about his wife, that she's very dirty and unhygienic. As a matter of fact, he took his pastor home and showed him where his wife was storing her unwashed undies for days.
But the pastor noticed something, as the man was using stick to bring out his wife's unwashed undies, he's using that same stick to take his own dirty undies inside the wardrobe and the pastor stopped him and asked him to bring them out, lo and behold, it was his own unwashed dirty undies; an association of dirty and unhygienic couple of Nigeria Association!
Sometimes, what we complain in others we're guilty of it.
Anyways, when it comes to preparing physically for marriage, three areas are to be considered; your look, habits and hygiene.
You have to look good for your partner, stop dressing shabbily now. Don't leave your hair anyhow. Your look can turn your partner on or off and that's cheating subtly creeps in.
You have to unlearn some habits now. Your habits form your character. I tell you, bad habits can destroy and make nonsense of your marriage. What's the bad habits you have smoking, drinking, womanizing, selfishness, greediness, etc., this is the time to tackle them!
Then, you have to be hygienic. Dirtiness pisses people off, I tell you. Look neat, smell good. Don't be like those two couples. In short, be hygienic. This covers your healthy too.
Learn how to wash your clothes now, learn to to bath very well now and always look good and neat. Smell good too. It's attractive.
2. Spiritually
You prepare for marriage spiritually be getting to know God for yourself through Jesus Christ , by establishing a thriving relationship with Him.
God originated and instituted marriage and you have got to have a relationship with Him if you want to have successful marriage.
3. Intellectually
According to Myles Munroe, knowledge is the key to having a successful marriage.
The Scripture says that many people are destroyed for lack of knowledge, I tell you many marriages have been destroyed also as a result of lack of knowledge.
You need knowledge. Knowledge on the difference between a man and woman, temperance, how to handle misunderstanding, communicate effectively, solve financial problems, effective parenting, knowledge on your roles as a wife, husband and parents etc. The importance of knowledge to the survival of your marriage is non-negotiable!
Read books, go for marriage seminars, go for counselling, listen to tapes. Read anything your hand can find on marriage; sex in marriage, finance, communication, misunderstanding, parenting, emotional intelligence etc., anything at all.
4. Financially
You have heard that there is no romance without finance. Don't undermine that statement.
According to a survey, finance is among the top three causes of problems in marriage.
Don't enter a marriage without a solid financial plans. Have at least a steady source of income before having multiples. Make investments.
Entering marriage without solid financial plans is setting yourself up for regrets.
5. Emotionally
Many marriages have broken up, many husbands have lost their lives and many wives also have lost their lives as a result of anger issues.
Emotions can make or mar you depending on your capacity to control them.
Read books on emotional intelligence, anger management etcetera, to be able to have control over your emotions.
So, these are the basic and fundamental ways you prepare for marriage.
Thanks for reading.
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