Most articles on what not to say to your partner circle around avoiding taboo topics and off-limits prodding.
While those tips are certainly helpful, there are deeper, more cutting questions that are even more crucial to avoid.
If all you do is steer clear of these 10 questions, your relationship will be dramatically more fulfilling and rewarding than average.
“What’s wrong with you? Why are you always doing that?”
It’s never a good idea to make a negative judgment or a blanket condemnation of your partner.
All that does is reinforce the exact negative behaviors you’re trying to change because your judgments incentivize them to isolate from you.
Rather than attacking your partner personally for what you don’t like, share what you do like and how you would feel or do feel when they do those things.
You might have to get introspective and creative to find out why certain things are so important to you.
For example, let’s say they often leave the cap off the toothpaste.
Instead of saying, “What’s wrong with you? Why are you always doing that?” you can say, “Honey, can you please put the cap on the toothpaste more often? It might seem silly, but when you do that, I really feel cared for by you.”
Then, the next time they put the cap on, feel that joy of being cared for, and let it make you happy.
Go give them a big hug and kiss.
Tell them you know it’s a small thing, but you really appreciate it.
When your partner feels appreciated by you, they’ll want to do more and more of what you like to continue the positive vibe between you.
“Why do you never do what I want?”
Blaming is not sexy.
It creates an atmosphere of hopelessness, resentment, distrust, and separation in the relationship.
Not only is it harmful, it’s ineffective as well.
When have you ever seen someone flip their life and personality around because they felt blamed enough? People sometimes change because they feel bad enough and hit rock bottom.
In those moments, they find the inner strength to carry them into a new way of life.
Don’t be that catalyst that gets your partner to rock bottom, though.
There are other ways to create the same effect that are much more reliable and constructive.
Whenever you’re upset at your partner, focus first on taking responsibility for your own feelings, thoughts, and actions.
Take ownership of your part of the equation.
The trent
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