The first time we fought, it was about a bottle of water. But before that, life was awesome between me and David. He’s the kind of guy who doesn’t speak a lot but when he does, his words are direct and straight to the point. I wished he could speak more because I love talking. I wanted us to have banter. I wanted us to be playful, the kind of play lovers usually do. I wanted us to stay awake and talk all night while I’m by his side but David isn’t that kind of guy. He’s his work and his work is him. I can be with him all day and the only time I would have his attention is when he wants to tell me something.
“David, I come here because of you but you leave me all alone and do whatever you want to do. You don’t find me interesting? Or your idea of spending quality time together is me walking around here while you stay on your computer?” I complained. He would look at me and say, “Give me a little time and I will finish working. We can have the whole time to ourselves.” The sad thing is, David never finishes working. He can leave his machine at 1 am, wake up at 5 am and still have something to do.
I wasn’t enjoying the relationship so I made it a point to cause the change I wanted in the relationship. That was the beginning of our friction. He complained, “Why do you always want to push me to the wall? Can’t I do my work because I have a girlfriend?” I would keep quiet and walk to the bedroom and press my phone. There was always this lingering anger in my heart but I controlled it. One day, he stayed on his laptop all day. I did everything to distract him but he didn’t give me a face. And then he called me, “Akorfa, can you get me a bottle of water from the fridge?”
On an ordinary day, I wouldn’t be triggered by such a request. This is a guy who had ignored me all day and when he wanted water, he decided to call me. I said, “You don’t have legs? Or you need lorry fare to get to the fridge?” He said no other word. He sat there for a while and later got up to get his own water. I was happy. The look on his face felt like I’d been able to get under his skin and it made me happy. Soon it was time to go. He was lying on the couch when I told him I was leaving. He had to get up and see me off but he didn’t mind me, so I held his hand and tried to pull him off the couch. He thrust both legs forward in an attempt to kick me with his legs. Fortunately, he missed.
“You’re lucky I missed. You think you can disrespect me the way you did and still ask me to see you off, you must be mad.” I’m the kind of girl who wouldn’t keep quiet when attacked so I responded and it turned into give-and-take. For several minutes we were there exchanging words. He held the back of my neck and push me out of his room. I swore I will never go back again but as time went on the anger thawed so we apologized to each other and promised to be better.
I made him promise me that he would have time for me and also have time to talk to me. He said, “I understand. I will change.” He changed for three days and got back to normal. Within the three days that he changed, a lot of things got better. We watched movies together, discussed them, made jokes about each other and even had a pillow fight. My desire was slowly happening right before my eyes but a few days later, the dream was dead. He was back to the corner of his room where he spent forever on his laptop.
Then the second fight happened. All day this guy was on his machine. The annoying part was I had no intention of seeing him that day. After the first fight, I reduced the number of times I visited him and he saw the change in me. So when he called that day and I told him I had no plans of seeing him, he drove to my house to pick me up. We got to his place and ate. He was the one who turned the TV on. Just when we were about to hit Netflix and chill, he said, “Wow, I forgot. I have something to do. Give me just thirty minutes to finish it, I would be with you soon.”
So I paused the movie and laid there waiting for him. I heard the game sound on his computer. I asked, “Are you playing games?” He answered, “No, I’ll be with you soon. He never came. After several hours of trying to get his attention, I got up to leave. When I was going I didn’t say anything to him, I stepped out and locked him in and took the keys with me. If he said something to me, I would have returned the keys but this guy watched me walk away as if my presence didn’t mean a thing to him.
I got home before I saw his call. He asked, “Why did you lock me inside?” I answered, “I thought you’ll never know. After all, you don’t go anywhere. So stay inside there and work on your computer” He started shouting; “If you don’t come and open the door, I swear you wouldn’t like what I would do to you next time when I see you.” I answered, “You won’t even see me again? Be there and make babies with your laptop.”
I never went to open the door. I called around 10 pm and he didn’t pick up. I thought he was sleeping so I also slept. The next morning when I called he said, “You made me destroy my door. Thank you but pray I never see you one on one anytime soon. Just pray.”
For a whole week, we never met. I sent him messages apologizing for my action but he never responded so I gathered courage and went to his house. I saw the door. It was badly damaged. It looks like he used brute force to break it so he had to replace the whole door. I felt bad. I went in and kneel down to apologize. He said, “No need to apologize. When you left, I replaced everything that was broken, the door and you. Do you see a new door? Yeah, there’s a new girl too. If you wait for a little while she would be here.”
He didn’t look at me until I left. Since then, he has been posting photos of himself and another girl and writing lovely captions. I feel like he’s only taunting me. It’s just something he’s doing to hurt me. He doesn’t offer me the chance to apologize to him. I go to his place and he locks the door. I call him and he cuts the line. I text him and he warns me to stop texting him; “Do you want to destroy my relationship? Don’t you know my girlfriend will be angry when she sees these messages?”
Now I’m the one hurting. I have the faith that everything would be fine but each day, he drifts away a little more than the previous day. It looks like I’m losing him. What should I do to get him back? I’ve used a couple of his friends but it didn’t work. I need your advice. I can’t lose him. Even if he will accept me back and spend forever on his computer, I won’t complain. I’m desperate.
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