Continues from part 1
11. The Bedroom's Now Just For Sleeping
Unless you've been married for forty years, no intimate relationship is complete without a healthy sex life. Sure, they slow down and get into a rut over time, but that doesn't mean you're still not enjoying each other's bodies. Humans have needs, and sex is right up there for most people with breathing and eating. It's a joy that few ever truly give up.
But if the interest stops dead there's either a more serious relationship problem or she's getting her kicks somewhere else. A month or so without getting jiggy isn't a huge deal, but flat our refusal, night after night, is a bad sign. Sure, you could just be awful in the sack. But it's more than likely it's one of the other two options. Either one could be a symptom or a cause, and either one spells out T-R-O-U-B-L-E.
12. She's Avoiding Your Questions
Everybody knows, deep down, that cheating on someone is wrong. Even the most heartless swinger can admit they're harming the relationship by straying, if they look deep enough into themselves. But that's the thing: a cheater will do whatever it takes to avoid looking into their feelings, because they know precisely that they're not going to like what they find.
Worst of all for a cheater is talking to their partner about it, or having to face questions from them, because then the lies only add to the guilt. "What's that?" she shouts over the timely clatter of washing up. "Just gotta go to the store," she says, cutting you off mid-sentence. "Not now, The Bachelor's on" - just as you are about to lay bare your heart. Sounds familiar? Time to start digging.
13. She's Starting To Really Bring Up Relationship Problems
Ladies love to talk about their feelings, and even if things are going swell in your lives, there's no doubt that if anything's bothering her, you'll hear about it. Which is fine - communication is the key to every successful relationship, and a chance to air out your feelings and find a way forward. But communication can also be a double-edged sword.
Every time she brings up relationship problems, consider how they're being brought up. Sometimes, it's true, she really is unhappy and is trying to give both of you a chance to mend things. But if the problems are coming thick and fast, and really very minor, then she could just be laying down the groundwork for a breakup. She could be justifying to herself the reasons why she's cheating on you.
14. She's Had A Big Makeover
For the first couple of months of a relationship, both of you will be trying as hard as possible to present your best side. You use up all your best jokes and wear those shoes your mom forced you to buy, and she puts her best dresses on and spends hours on her makeup. After that, well, it's straight to comfort city.
After about half a year of dating, you don't need to impress anyone anymore. You're already in a relationship, so you can go back to being the flannel-wearing slobs you always were. That's why any new changes in her appearance should set off the alarm bells. Any new clothes, and sudden obsession with doing her make up again, and she's more than likely trying to impress a new man in her life.
15. She's Started To Hide Her Phone
You've probably already started some light detective work if you suspect your girl of cheating on you. If she really is cheating, though, you're going to hit a roadblock pretty quickly: you won't be able to find her phone. Even if for some reason she does leave it lying around, you won't be able to get into it because she's changed her passcode.
Sound familiar? Sorry pal, but that's a bad sign. It might not just be her phone, either - it's more than likely that she's changed her password on her computer, and is hiding her diary. You're probably going to start feeling like a parent, especially when you walk in the room and she starts quickly closing browser tabs. Trust us, she's not watching porn, just flirting with someone you don't know.
16. She's Not Gazing Dreamily Into Your Eyes
Eyes. The doorway into the soul. As The Eagles knew, if you're lyin', you can't hide it in your eyes. And it's true - they really do say a lot more than slippery words ever can. Does she no longer meet yours? When she talks to you, are they smiling, or glazed over? Or are they flitting about the bar, looking for a better match?
Watch carefully when you talk to her, or ask her a question. There's no need to be a fortune teller - just a simple glance away every time she answers you will be obvious enough. There could be other explanations, like if you live in a hummingbird farm, but the simplest is that she's not telling you the whole truth. The whole truth being that she's found another bed to lie in.
17. She's Staying Late At Work. A Lot.
The movies were right about this one: when people cheat, it's statistically far more likely to be a co-worker. If you consider how few people she'd be meeting in her day-to-day life outside of work, it makes sense. Not only that, but there's all those juicy opportunities. Business trips, office parties, tight project deadlines - all of these can turn intimate in the blink of an eye.
A regular office girl is bound to have these kinds of events every now and again, so if she's late home a couple of times a year, there's nothing to worry about. But if office functions and "lots of work" seems to come up with increasing frequency, you'd better check out her cover story quick smart with a couple of her colleagues. You might not like what you find.
18. A Sudden Interest In Your Day To Day Routine
Most people don't even notice the little things their partner does every day. It doesn't really matter whether she's at the gym every other day for precisely two hours - all that matters is that she comes home. She doesn't care if you're going for a drink after work, only that you'll pick up some Thai food on the way home.
Sometimes, though, she will start to take a keen interest in what you're doing and where you'll be. That's not because she's suddenly fascinated by what your friends talked about over a couple of beers. Sorry. No, it's actually so she knows what she can get away with, and for how long. Basically, whether the bed's free for someone else. Might be time to shake up your routine.
19. She Picks And Picks At Everything You Do
Now, we're pretty sure that you're capable of some annoying habits, like clipping your toenails at the kitchen table or singing the Star Spangled Banner at the top of your lungs, every morning at 5 a.m. But lately, she's started to pick and nag about everything you do, not just the annoying things. For some reason, you've copped an earful for putting the recycling in the wrong bin, like anybody even knows what the hell is the right one.
Want to know why she's doing that? Well, it's a pretty simple psychological trick. It's a way of justifying to herself her cheating ways, and making them seem not as bad in comparison. People who are cheating on their partners, or are about to break up with them, will often find the slightest faults in every little thing that the other person says or does. It's guilt, and it's self-defense. She may be cheating on you, but at least she's not destroying the planet by not recycling properly.
20. She's Not Sharing With You
One of those buzzphrases that gets thrown around a lot these days is "emotional cheating". It's not just about the physical act anymore, but about having an intense emotional bond with someone else. A bond that might just be better and more fulfilling than the one they're having with their partner. There's one major problem with emotional cheating, though: how do you know when someone's crossed the line?
Well, if she's cheating on you, she's forming these emotional bonds with someone else by opening up to them. She's sharing her highs and lows, fears and dreams, and you'll be able to tell that because she won't need to share them with you anymore. She's got a new sympathetic ear to whisper sweet nothings to, and maybe even share a bed with.
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