One of the tough decisions most of us have had to make is deciding whether to stay friends with an ex after the relationship hit the rocks. There are both advantages and disadvantages as regards whatever decision we took but what way is best for you?
Except your relationship came to an end with a suitcase of your clothes being doused in petrol and set alight or your car being vandalised, a lot of breakups contain these words: “Let’s stay friends”. But is remaining friends with an ex a good idea and is it even possible?
Here are all the pros and consider that can help you make the decision that’s best for you.
Cons
The disadvantages of staying friends with an ex are pretty obvious. Despite the trauma surrounding your break up, the fact that one of you may have unfinished business, or even a sense of resentment towards the person who broke it off can be traumatising.
If you do decide to stay friends, it is best to acknowledge that your relationship will never be what it once was, and that staying mates won’t help you miss the other person any less and know that there would be difficulty in moving on to another partner while a former one is still in your life.
You are also likely to experience a bitter taste in your mouth whenever you visit your favourite place where you both made sweet memories. More so, know that you both became exes for a reason. Something broke down in the relationship, and more often than not, that thing is beyond repair.
Pros
Despite the fact that there are numerous disadvantages with staying friends with your ex, there are a number of cool advantages in favour of remaining friends. If you’ve ever been on a first date where the other person complained endlessly about their crazy ex or, worse, a long line of crazy exes, you will understand why it is cool to remain friends.
You may have thought they were the crazy ones still hung up on their ex, but the truth is you should strive not to be that guy when you enter a new relationship. Maintaining friendship with your ex can help you move forward with a positive mindset.
Furthermore, there are also pragmatic reasons to keep things civil. Long-term relationships tend to build up intertwined groups of friends that feel awkward if they are forced to choose between you and your ex. It is even more difficult if there’s a child and you have to split custody.
More so, you and your ex once used to be close, and they should be a valuable friend to keep, if possible.
How Can You Remain Friends?
After you’ve broken up and had time to cool off (since a freshly broken heart has problems being receptive to friendship with the person who just shattered it), it is important you establish firm boundaries that build a wall between friendship and any romantic feelings that threaten to re-emerge.
Well, that will be the key to remaining friends until technology brings forth apps that prevents you from texting ex-partners while under the influence. Staying friends just because of lingering attraction or the faint hope you might one day end up back together leads to an on-again off-again spiral that isn’t healthy for anyone.
More so, it destroys any chance of establishing a trustworthy relationship with a new partner on anything resembling solid ground. The best thing is to analyse your intentions microscopically before you reach out to a former partner. If you’re lonely, lazy or horny, these are all bad reasons to stay friends with your ex.
Comments
Post a Comment