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IF YOU DON'T WANT YOUR MARRIAGE TO BE HELL - PART 11




A great marriage is not far from you. That's if you know what to do. If you don't, it can become hell. In this Part 10 of the series, I bring you 15 more nuggets of truth to help you in your (future) marriage:


151. You can weed out many unserious men not worth your time early in your relationship by requiring them to see your father or your pastor.

152. Have a good self esteeem. If you don't you already start from a losing ground in a relationship with a man. He will treat you according to the level of your own self esteem. Only few exceptional men will treat you better.

153. When children come you don't need to divert your love for your husband to the children. Love is elastic. Let your love just expand to include the children. Time is coming when the children will leave home. If you disconnect from him now you hurt the future. Be wise.

154. Many a marriage has crumbled because the boy could not grow into a man capable of being joined to his wife whilst still loving his mother.

155. S** is never free. Women particularly need to know that protected s** is not really protected as the emotions can never be protected.

156. The survival of marriage requires being both tender and tough. Tender within toward your spouse, but tough without against the enemies of marriage.

157. Once you are married, just get it into your skull and drive it home everyday that you're no longer single. Think oneness and include your spouse in your thoughts and action.

158. Submission does not mean not speaking up but a willingness to yield to your husband making a decision. It does not mean being a doormat, a passive do nothing and never asserting yourself. Submission means gentle assertiveness and willing yielded-ness.

159. If he always gets angry when you want to discuss issues, that's a defense tactic that will eventually blow up before your faces. Be patient and gentle with him. Find a right time and be in a gentle frame of mind yourself and respectfully talk with him.

160. "I love him" is not enough to have a good relationship. If he's not good for you he's not good for you. Your love won't change it. You will only be wasting your life hanging around him.

161. The reason why it seems it's mostly women that are hurt in relationships is that girls have a strong need to be affirmed. Not getting that from their fathers they developed poor self-esteem. The men just smell blood and draw blood.

162. A man snatched by another woman is not worth fighting over. A girl snatched by another  man is not worth fighting over. Why reduce yourself. It's either that you have just been delivered or it's a wake up call to correct something in you.

163. You are either spiritually lazy or Biblically unintelligent to submit names to soothsayers in the name of men of God to know who to marry. Do the work yourself. Read your Bible and pray to God directly to know His will for yourself. Any short cut to this does not work. God wants to lead you by Himself. Other voices can only be confirmatory.

164. Whatever you want you can see in anyone. If you look for what to make you condemn your husband you will find plenty. If you look for what to commend about your wife you will find plenty. Marriage in a way is like a room with windows. The view you see is based on where you are facing.

165. Submission starts with mission. Ego gets in the way of what's good for you. For your good, you can depersonalize submission. Have something greater to which you submit to. Submit to what it requires to make your marriage work. Submit to the God of marriage. Submit to the purpose of marriage.

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